“Tennis is antisocial.” I got some heat for that in my last post below. So let me dig my hole a little deeper.
Recently, I applied to join a very exclusive, very old, very traditional tennis club — the kind that hosts ATP tournaments.
I was placed on a WAITING LIST. I needed two SPONSORS.
There was no acknowledgement when I submitted my application — just silence.
Weeks later, I received a short email:
“Dear Phil, your application has been APPROVED. Please transfer €xxxxx membership fee. Please use the following link to reserve courts. Best wishes.”
No welcome.
No introduction to members.
No programming overview.
No invitation to integrate.
No onboarding.
You’re in. Consider yourself lucky. Good luck.
Now, I’m fine. I play a decent level, I’m naturally social, and I’ve worked in the industry long enough to know how these ecosystems function. I understand the codes and I speak the language.
But most people don’t. And that’s where the issue lies.
Because tennis, intentionally or not, is surrounded by words that signal resistance:
Exclusive. Old. Historic. Waiting list. Sponsors. Approved. Committee. Dress code. Ranking. Selection. Trial.
They are words of status. Of gatekeeping. Of qualification.
They are not words of invitation.
For someone new — someone without connections, confidence, or a strong playing level — the experience can quickly feel intimidating:
If you don’t know anyone, breaking into established groups is hard.
If you don’t play well, finding matches is difficult.
If you want coaching, the prime slots are taken.
If you moonball, people roll their eyes.
If you hit too hard, they avoid you.
If you’re too soft in league matches, you’re overlooked.
If you’re too intense, you’re also overlooked.
Tennis often assumes you will integrate yourself.
Padel and pickleball, by contrast, are structurally designed to integrate you. Why? Because many of the facilities being built are for-profit and it’s in their interest to grease your entry so that you spend more time and more money there. Tennis clubs – especially the non-profit ones – have no such incentive.
That doesn’t make tennis bad. It makes it traditional.
But tradition without intentional onboarding can feel like exclusion.
And that — not the sport itself — is where the antisocial perception begins.
So before we defend tradition, let’s test it: join a new club where you have zero connections and zero status — and see how easy it really is to belong.
(Originally published on LinkedIn)
